About a year ago, I niched down on all my social media platforms to try and reach a larger audience. Ironically, it worked. In just 12 months, I gained around 300,000 followers and the ride has been bumpy to say the least. Though the primary response was overwhelmingly positive, there were, and continue to be, some haters. When the negative comments started, it crushed me. “Should I be sharing so much?” I’d wonder. However, after each episode of extreme insecurity, I would pray, and the Lord would return me back to my mission:

I have always been sensitive to things said about me, which is why I crave words of affirmation. It’s a double edge sword that I have to hold accountable in my life, and it’s not easy.

Recently, I was deeply wounded by another mom and her words have been holding me captive ever since. It’s embarrassing to admit that criticism has such a stronghold in my life. But, the reflection of why has brought me to a greater heart issue, and that is

That’s a tough thing for me to admit, but I’m ready for freedom, and I know that’s the first step to getting it. I think we all need to be liked by at least someone. God made us for meaningful and mutually affectionate relationships, but not with all people. In fact, it’s very clear that if we follow Christ, we have enemies-and not just the “talk behind your back” kind, but those who hate us, and some, who even want to kill us. (Matthew 10:28)

Lately, I’ve been on a Doug Wilson kick, controversial reformed pastor of Christ’s Church in Idaho, and I’ve stumbled across some of his college campus Q & A videos. Pastor Wilson’s ability to remain unshaken by his hostile opponents astonished me. The students mock, curse and scream while he calmly, even jovially, carries on the message of the gospel. It’s almost like

Maybe Wilson’s God-given personality makes his skin thicker than mine, but I dare not downplay the obvious work of the Holy Spirit in his life. I’ve never experienced hate like that, at least not to my face, and it scares me to death to think about being in his shoes. However, it seems I’ve stepped into a similar arena, and quite honestly, I feel as vulnerable and unprepared as a baby in a busy highway.

This morning, I asked God to make me bold and brave like Pastor Wilson, to crush the god of needing to be liked by everyone. I felt the Lord lead me to read in Lamentations. Though I’m tempted to google all my problems for answers, the Word of God is where I ought always to run.

Israel had indulged herself with one night stand affairs with the world. The tickling words of affirmation didn’t last long though, because those same “friends” and “lovers” had quickly become her enemies. In fact, the nations to which she had entangled herself, were never friends to begin with, and that became painfully clear when God started disciplining the child He loved.

If it is built on flattery alone, the brittle framework of that “friendship” will reveal itself the moment you say something that person doesn’t like.

The bottom line is this, until Jesus returns and places His enemies under His feet, there will be two teams-light and dark, good and evil. That makes my quest to be liked by everyone not only impossible, but a direct affront to Jesus Himself. “If the world hates you, understand that it hated me first.” The campaign for unanimous popularity is a slap in the face to everything He said. If I want to be like my Savior, I have to be ok with not being liked by everyone.

The likes and follows may fool my flesh, but the harsh critics keep me painfully aware that there is a war waging, and it’s not against the people my eyes can see. If the hate means I’m looking more like Jesus, I’ll take that as a compliment. May the love of God be all the affection I will ever need.